I just made out with a guy for $7.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
