is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
