he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
