a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
