Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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