Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
