Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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