is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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