I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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