it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
