Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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