Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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