my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
