super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
