we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize