so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
