My first STD was from a foam party
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
