I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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