it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I AM VODKA MAN
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
