Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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