your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
