Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
