looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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