she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
