Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
false alarm, still single
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
