I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
