You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
