At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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