The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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