Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
