FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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