He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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