I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
