ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
