At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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