So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
