Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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