With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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