My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize