Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
