4 words: hood of his car
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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