the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Randomize
