the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
