i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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