i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
