She announced her abortion via fbk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
