I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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