Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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