i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
