angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
