Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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