3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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