she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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