North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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