Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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