you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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