Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
