Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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