the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
