I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize