is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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