And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
