The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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