...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
