i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
