i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We have started to decorate penises.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
